


A Coping Mechanism

by harlequin421



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, Spoilers for T.R.A.C.K.S, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 07:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harlequin421/pseuds/harlequin421
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma in the aftermath of 1.13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Coping Mechanism

Jemma had asked Fitz to leave her alone for a bit. He hadn’t wanted to, but Jemma needed to be alone for just a little while. She needed to think, and process and compartmentalize everything that happened so that she could do her job.

She looked down at her hands, palms stained red. She needed to wash her hands.

She walked slowly over to the sink in the lab and turned on the water. She looked back down at her hands.

That was Skye’s blood. Skye’s blood that should’ve never been outside of her body was on Jemma’s hands.

Jemma clenched her hands into fists and set them down on the edge of the sink. She shut her eyes tight and felt more tears. She thought she was cried out after crying on Fitz for what felt like hours, but apparently not.

She’d been too late to save Seth, and she was too late to save Skye.

Jemma felt her knees give, and she dropped down to the floor holding on to the edge of the sink and burying her face in her arm to smother her sobs.

It wasn’t until she felt something cold resting against her shoulder that she realized that someone had been calling her name.

She turned startled, and felt her heart stop.

“Simmons,” Skye said moving down to kneel next to her worried eyes trained on Jemma’s face.

Jemma closed her eyes and shook her head sharply. She was hallucinating. She had to be.

Because Skye had gotten shot, and she was almost dead, and nothing short of a miracle that Jemma knew she wasn’t capable of could save her.

“Simmons,” Skye said again and this time something cold touched her cheeks.

Jemma’s eyes snapped open and she looked at Skye in shock. “You can’t be here,” she whispered scrambling back to press against the wall beside the sink. “You  _can’t_  be here. You  _can’t_ be a ghost. You’re _not_  dead.”

Only mostly dead, a nasty little voice whispered through her head.

Jemma gathered her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on top of them.

She took a deep breath and started to count to ten slowly.

When she finished and she looked back up, Skye was going to be gone, and Jemma was going to wash her hands (hands stained red with Skye’s blood) and she was going to do everything that she could to make sure that Skye stayed stabilized until they reached the SHIELD facility.

 When she actually did look back up, Skye was still there, leaning back on her heels, still wearing her bloodstained clothes, the trickle of blood still going down from the corner of her mouth.

She looked at Jemma with an expression that mirrored how she looked at her when she’d thought Jemma was the one who was going to die.

It wasn’t fair.

Jemma moved closer in spite herself, and Skye reached out to touch her.

Her fingers were cold, and Skye looked frustrated. “I can’t feel anything.”

Jemma was equal parts intrigued and worried. “What do you mean?”

“I know I’m touching you because I can see it,” Skye said squeezing Jemma’s arm a little too tightly making her flinch slightly. “But I can’t feel it. It’s like there’s nothing there.”

Jemma really wanted to comment on that, but there was something they had to get out of the way first.

“You’re dying. You’re in a tube that’s stabilizing you while we transport you into a SHIELD facility. But you can’t be here. It’s not possible.”

Skye smiled at her and shook her gently by her hold on her arm, “Anything is possible. There are just some things that are highly improbable.”

“So what,” Jemma said trying not to scoff or roll her eyes with difficulty. “Magic?”

Skye’s smile softened a bit and she shrugged, “That or astral projection.”

“You believe in astral projection?”

“Why not?” Skye replied sounding like her old self. “Aliens exist and travel to our world through a portal, why not astral projection?”

Jemma made a face, “It sounds so farfetched.”

Skye gave her a look, and Jemma felt the giggles bubble up in her chest. She let out a bark of laughter, which turned into a sob because this wasn’t real. Skye wasn’t actually there. Skye was still dying.

And Jemma didn’t get there in time to save her.

“I’m sorry,” Jemma blurted out. Skye looked a bit startled. “I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time to save you. I’m so sorry. I could’ve done something if I had been there, but I wasn’t. I’m sorry.”

“Simmons,” Skye said a bit sharply and tugged her closer. Jemma let her drag her across the floor until they were pressed close. Skye’s knees bracketing her thighs and she held Jemma tightly against her chest.

It felt cold, but that was it. Jemma couldn’t even feel the blood on Skye’s clothes soaking into her own. It was as if Skye was there, but she wasn’t at the same time.

The thought made Jemma’s fingers tighten where they were already clutching Skye tightly.

Jemma cried into her neck, mouth open against the cold skin of her throat, and she wished that this was real. That Skye was there, alive and holding her.

After a few minutes, the cold started getting to Jemma and she shivered. Skye pulled back then, slowly and left her hands on Jemma’s shoulders.

Jemma wiped her face with the hem of her dress and then looked up at Skye when Skye’s fingers tightened against her shoulders.

“Simmons,” she began, and then shook her head and took a deep breath. “Jemma. This wasn’t your fault.”

Jemma opened her mouth to protest, but Skye gave her a sharp look. “No, this wasn’t your fault. None of it. You didn’t know what was going to happen. If you hadn’t taken that dendrotoxin grenade we wouldn’t have gotten Quinn. That was extremely brave of you.”

She smiled at Jemma then, and Jemma tried to smile back, but found that it was too hard to. “I did what anyone else would do.”

“That doesn’t stop it from being brave,” Skye replied, her fingers biting hard into Jemma’s shoulders. “I know you, Simmons. And I know that you’re going to do everything you can to make sure that I get out of this alive.”

Jemma felt her eyes beginning to well up with tears again and she closed them to stop it from happening. She didn’t want to cry again.

She had to stop crying and start doing something.

She felt Skye move in close again and she jumped when she felt Skye’s forehead press against hers.

“But, promise me, that if I don’t make it, you won’t blame yourself.”

Jemma’s eyes snapped open and she looked at her horrified.

Skye gave her a determined look back. “It’s not your fault that I got shot. It’s not your fault that you weren’t there. It’s not your fault that you couldn’t do anything because I’d lost too much blood. None of that was your fault, and it won’t be your fault if I don’t make it.”

“Skye,” Jemma began, but Skye cut her off.

“No. Now say it.”

Jemma licked her lips and forced the words out, “It’s not my fault.”

Skye smiled at her softly like if she knew that Jemma was lying through her teeth. She licked her lip, and Jemma’s eyes followed the trail of blood that was still staining the corner of her mouth.

She reached out a bit mesmerized and touched it. She couldn’t feel anything, just the cold.

Skye leaned down then as though Jemma touching her had given her permission and pressed a ghost of a kiss over her mouth. Jemma felt her eyes close, and she pressed back into the kiss, hand moving to cradle the back of Skye’s head, to keep her there, their lips touching for as long as possible.

Skye pulled back after a few seconds and smiled at her wryly. “If this was a fairytale, I should’ve woken up. True love’s first kiss and all that.”

Jemma felt her heart thump in her chest. “Maybe it only works if you actually kiss the person.”

Skye looked a bit offended, and then gave her a stern look. “No trying to kiss me to wake me up.”

Jemma let out a breath of laughter and this time it didn’t feel like if the whole world would fall apart if she smiled. “I would never. It’s unhygienic, and besides, you’d die if I took you out of the tube.”

Skye gave her a sad smile, and Jemma closed her eyes again. She felt Skye’s hair brush pass her cheeks like cold air blowing gently against her face as Skye pressed a kiss on her forehead.

“I know I’m safe in your hands,” she whispered brushing her lips down Jemma’s brow and across her nose before pressing against her cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

When Jemma opened her eyes again, Skye was gone.

Jemma closed her eyes one more time and let out a sigh. “See you soon,” she whispered into the air.

Then she got up, and washed her hands.


End file.
